Week 1: April 5-12

Okay gang:

As most of you know, the last couple of years I have kept track of the league's weekly stats for my own amusement and evil purposes, and sent these out as emails every Monday. I was about to continue that important tradition this year, but then realized that setting up a blog makes way more sense. For one thing, maybe the columns will actually align when I copy-and-paste off of Excel. Also, it is more passive-aggressive, which is always important.

Anyways, here is what happened during the first shining week of the slow accumulation of baseball statistics:

Team	BA	OBP	SLG	ERA	K/9	W/9	HR/9	BIPA
Barry...On Trial	0.276	0.356	0.448	3.36	7.83	1.82	0.56	0.255
Duck Islanders	0.287	0.329	0.498	2.33	8.00	3.50	0.17	0.240
Bumpin' Utleys	0.301	0.339	0.500	2.98	8.45	2.82	0.83	0.258
Ballard Killbots	0.302	0.411	0.598	3.55	10.25	3.74	1.18	0.267
WalnutCreekWolfpack	0.264	0.354	0.437	3.60	9.40	2.60	1.00	0.273
A.T.P.L.Strikes Back	0.262	0.316	0.481	4.19	6.98	4.42	0.93	0.277
BattlestarGrantica	0.226	0.350	0.337	2.65	7.18	2.50	0.62	0.253
ConfusedCricketClub	0.259	0.355	0.552	5.36	8.04	3.26	1.53	0.267
B-Town Momma J	0.242	0.312	0.419	2.08	7.10	2.60	0.35	0.243
Honkbal Staars	0.232	0.329	0.387	4.20	8.00	4.20	1.00	0.280
Mapleleaf FBC	0.256	0.337	0.428	4.42	9.92	3.66	0.61	0.333
Hammarby BbK	0.279	0.341	0.447	3.88	6.41	3.71	2.03	0.213
Leapin' Lirianos	0.276	0.372	0.388	6.42	5.66	2.83	1.32	0.298
Sam Zell is a Douche	0.246	0.315	0.407	5.63	8.74	4.08	1.36	0.333
Halfprice Henchmen	0.286	0.355	0.482	8.10	7.56	4.05	2.43	0.357
League Average	0.266	0.345	0.455	4.04	8.00	3.26	1.01	0.276

Killbots gets off to a typical blistering start with the offense, followed by the solid performances of the Confused Cricket Club and the Bumpin' Utleys, and then heralding the gradual descent into the frigid icy depths of mediocrity, with BattlestarGrantica bearing the banner of FAIL. Hey, at least that isolated patience is pretty awesome!

There are some sparkly ERAs produced by ol' Momma-J, and the Duck Islanders, and the hapless Battlestar, so go ahead and pat yourselves on the back for that, but then be sure to check out the gem of the week: COLIN'S AWESOME 8.10 ERA! If you look up "epic" in the official Northwest Drunken Fan League dictionary, there is a picture of, um, the Henchmen's ERA. (Did I mention it is a magic calculating dictionary?)

Good job guys.