Monday, April 27, 2009

Week 3: April 20-26

Last week:

Team BA OBP SLG ERA K/9 W/9 HR/9 BIPA
A.T.P.L.Strikes Back 0.296 0.354 0.436 4.39 7.46 6.15 0.66 0.270
Ballard Killbots 0.209 0.308 0.357 3.30 7.95 1.50 1.50 0.249
Barry...On Trial 0.361 0.423 0.527 6.22 6.60 3.69 1.36 0.340
BattlestarGrantica 0.270 0.330 0.425 3.97 6.88 3.18 1.06 0.309
B-Town Momma J 0.230 0.294 0.374 4.29 7.50 3.64 0.43 0.305
Bumpin' Utleys 0.329 0.413 0.548 4.08 8.66 2.80 0.76 0.301
ConfusedCricketClub 0.246 0.310 0.399 4.38 7.19 3.33 1.23 0.285
Duck Islanders 0.273 0.328 0.455 7.82 5.92 4.50 1.89 0.305
Halfprice Henchmen 0.316 0.386 0.536 4.59 5.88 3.12 0.73 0.307
Hammarby BbK 0.308 0.382 0.527 5.94 6.48 4.14 1.44 0.329
Honkbal Staars 0.252 0.310 0.458 4.74 7.58 2.84 1.66 0.287
Leapin' Lirianos 0.233 0.302 0.347 4.75 8.00 3.75 1.00 0.262
Mapleleaf FBC 0.272 0.388 0.415 1.62 9.92 3.00 0.69 0.260
Sam Zell is a Douche 0.283 0.364 0.395 3.41 7.34 2.10 0.26 0.279
WalnutCreekWolfpack 0.271 0.340 0.464 1.57 8.02 2.35 0.00 0.302









League Average 0.278 0.351 0.446 4.34 7.42 3.32 1.00 0.295

Finally some other teams have down weeks with the offense, like the Killbots, and Momma J, and those airborne Lirianos. Welcome to the club: The suck club. Since nobody else hit over .400 or slugged over .600, I am inclined to yawn and call this a lost week, but I guess "propers" should be distributed to Barry and the Utleys and the Henchmen for having pretty good weeks. On the pitching side, the Wolfpack and the FBC put up some pretty ridiculous lines, and we continue our streak of having at least one completely awesomely horrible pitching implosion, these week's courtesy of the ol' Duck Islanders and their delightful 7.82 ERA. Barry...ON TRIAL tried to repeat last week's gem of amazement, but did not have the help of Chien Ming "Mr. Awesome" Wang. Applause for a pretty good try nonetheless.

Here is what the numbers look like for the whole season:

Team BA OBP SLG ERA K/9 W/9 HR/9 BIPA
Bumpin' Utleys 0.306 0.376 0.491 3.39 8.82 2.71 0.61 0.295
ConfusedCricketClub 0.278 0.355 0.514 4.83 8.23 3.33 1.32 0.288
WalnutCreekWolfpack 0.259 0.339 0.423 3.02 8.66 2.34 0.76 0.303
B-Town Momma J 0.266 0.330 0.470 3.84 7.36 3.84 0.57 0.266
Hammarby BbK 0.295 0.365 0.500 4.45 6.54 3.75 1.46 0.263
Duck Islanders 0.286 0.335 0.461 3.84 8.46 3.64 0.72 0.275
Mapleleaf FBC 0.270 0.371 0.466 3.67 9.59 3.06 1.09 0.301
Ballard Killbots 0.249 0.360 0.465 3.50 8.92 3.12 1.27 0.270
BattlestarGrantica 0.237 0.322 0.379 3.14 7.95 2.77 0.74 0.270
Barry...On Trial 0.290 0.370 0.457 5.59 7.69 3.24 0.89 0.320
Sam Zell is a Douche 0.264 0.351 0.437 4.53 7.73 3.67 1.09 0.284
Halfprice Henchmen 0.319 0.383 0.554 5.77 7.55 3.25 1.55 0.319
A.T.P.L.Strikes Back 0.287 0.347 0.463 4.60 7.40 4.95 0.86 0.280
Honkbal Staars 0.252 0.318 0.423 4.59 7.82 4.20 1.10 0.284
Leapin' Lirianos 0.247 0.330 0.378 6.10 7.25 3.43 1.53 0.309









League Average 0.274 0.351 0.459 4.30 8.01 3.42 1.03 0.288

I am just barely fending off Dr. Lorney and his excitable Lirianos to hold on to the Icy Suck Crown of Suck Hitting Suck Suck. The priced-to-move Henchmen are still obliterating the ball, followed closely in production by the Utleys, Confused Cricket Squadron, and the BbK. There are a lot of awesome pitching lines thus far, led by the Wolfpack. In fact, there are 7 teams bunched together with ERAs under 3.84, and the other 8 teams scattered over the dainty little 4.45 to 6.10 range.

Good job, gang.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Week 2: April 13-19

So this happened last week:

Team BA OBP SLG ERA K/9 W/9 HR/9 BIPA
A.T.P.L.Strikes Back 0.310 0.379 0.468 4.88 7.31 4.13 0.94 0.276
Ballard Killbots 0.233 0.358 0.433 3.55 8.29 4.74 0.95 0.288
Barry...On Trial 0.229 0.327 0.391 9.29 9.00 5.52 0.87 0.404
BattlestarGrantica 0.216 0.286 0.373 3.02 9.05 2.70 0.64 0.247
B-Town Momma J 0.326 0.385 0.620 5.33 7.53 5.33 0.92 0.254
Bumpin' Utleys 0.288 0.373 0.419 3.35 9.42 2.51 0.21 0.333
ConfusedCricketClub 0.337 0.404 0.592 4.80 9.60 3.40 1.20 0.315
Duck Islanders 0.298 0.349 0.433 2.33 11.07 3.11 0.39 0.287
Halfprice Henchmen 0.354 0.408 0.641 5.26 9.61 2.75 1.83 0.296
Hammarby BbK 0.296 0.370 0.524 3.29 6.81 3.29 0.70 0.232
Honkbal Staars 0.275 0.314 0.433 4.79 7.83 5.11 0.80 0.286
Leapin' Lirianos 0.231 0.315 0.400 6.63 8.10 3.68 2.21 0.347
Mapleleaf FBC 0.282 0.386 0.559 4.72 8.65 2.10 2.36 0.286
Sam Zell is a Douche 0.263 0.371 0.507 3.89 6.32 4.38 1.46 0.206
WalnutCreekWolfpack 0.242 0.324 0.368 3.83 8.08 1.91 1.28 0.315









League Average 0.278 0.356 0.477 4.54 8.59 3.70 1.08 0.295

Whoa, guys! Slow down! Tiny hurled spheroids were cruelly obliterated into a messy pulp by Momma-J and the Henchmen, which I guess would be a pretty good name for a band. But anyway, I expect this sort of petty violent behavior out of discount hired muscle, but a mother! How could you? Also, that wacky Cricket Club beat some sense into the ball as well.

Pitching as a whole fared not so well this last half-fortnight, although the Duck Islanders once again come through with a stunning pitching performance and blah blah blah OH MY GOD IS THAT A 9.29 ERA! The very laws and tenets of fantasy baseball science are being rewritten as we speak to account for this display of blatant disregard for decency. I mean, sure, a bad game or two might be expected to produce the occasional unsightly pile of numbers, but this is over 8 players and 31 innings. Awesome. Also, way to write Colin's contribution to hilarious pitching futility out of the history books after but one shining week of glory.

Here is where we stand as a complete season:

Team BA OBP SLG ERA K/9 W/9 HR/9 BIPA
ConfusedCricketClub 0.295 0.377 0.570 5.09 8.80 3.33 1.37 0.290
Duck Islanders 0.292 0.339 0.465 2.33 9.42 3.32 0.27 0.260
B-Town Momma J 0.283 0.348 0.517 3.65 7.31 3.92 0.62 0.248
Bumpin' Utleys 0.295 0.356 0.461 3.14 8.88 2.68 0.55 0.292
Hammarby BbK 0.288 0.356 0.485 3.63 6.58 3.53 1.47 0.221
BattlestarGrantica 0.221 0.318 0.355 2.89 8.28 2.65 0.64 0.256
Sam Zell is a Douche 0.255 0.344 0.458 5.00 7.89 4.33 1.44 0.286
WalnutCreekWolfpack 0.253 0.338 0.402 3.71 8.76 2.27 1.13 0.295
A.T.P.L.Strikes Back 0.283 0.344 0.475 4.70 7.36 4.38 0.96 0.284
Barry...On Trial 0.253 0.342 0.419 5.29 8.21 3.02 0.66 0.309
Ballard Killbots 0.268 0.385 0.518 3.65 9.63 4.32 1.11 0.286
Mapleleaf FBC 0.269 0.362 0.493 4.53 9.45 3.09 1.25 0.316
Honkbal Staars 0.253 0.322 0.409 4.53 7.90 4.71 0.89 0.283
Halfprice Henchmen 0.321 0.382 0.564 6.56 8.67 3.34 2.11 0.327
Leapin' Lirianos 0.253 0.344 0.394 6.70 6.91 3.29 1.76 0.327









League Average 0.272 0.350 0.466 4.28 8.29 3.47 1.04 0.285

You will all thank me someday, for BattlestarGrantica's offense is single-handedly combating global warming with highly-concentrated icy suck rays. Also, those dapper Leapin' Lirianos somehow managed to sneak quietly by as I was pointing and gaping inanely at the exploits of the Affordable Henchmen and Barry's Litigation to claim the high throne of Aggregated Pitching Unawesomeness.

Good job guys!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Week 1: April 5-12

Okay gang:

As most of you know, the last couple of years I have kept track of the league's weekly stats for my own amusement and evil purposes, and sent these out as emails every Monday. I was about to continue that important tradition this year, but then realized that setting up a blog makes way more sense. For one thing, maybe the columns will actually align when I copy-and-paste off of Excel. Also, it is more passive-aggressive, which is always important.

Anyways, here is what happened during the first shining week of the slow accumulation of baseball statistics:

Team BA OBP SLG ERA K/9 W/9 HR/9 BIPA
Barry...On Trial 0.276 0.356 0.448 3.36 7.83 1.82 0.56 0.255
Duck Islanders 0.287 0.329 0.498 2.33 8.00 3.50 0.17 0.240
Bumpin' Utleys 0.301 0.339 0.500 2.98 8.45 2.82 0.83 0.258
Ballard Killbots 0.302 0.411 0.598 3.55 10.25 3.74 1.18 0.267
WalnutCreekWolfpack 0.264 0.354 0.437 3.60 9.40 2.60 1.00 0.273
A.T.P.L.Strikes Back 0.262 0.316 0.481 4.19 6.98 4.42 0.93 0.277
BattlestarGrantica 0.226 0.350 0.337 2.65 7.18 2.50 0.62 0.253
ConfusedCricketClub 0.259 0.355 0.552 5.36 8.04 3.26 1.53 0.267
B-Town Momma J 0.242 0.312 0.419 2.08 7.10 2.60 0.35 0.243
Honkbal Staars 0.232 0.329 0.387 4.20 8.00 4.20 1.00 0.280
Mapleleaf FBC 0.256 0.337 0.428 4.42 9.92 3.66 0.61 0.333
Hammarby BbK 0.279 0.341 0.447 3.88 6.41 3.71 2.03 0.213
Leapin' Lirianos 0.276 0.372 0.388 6.42 5.66 2.83 1.32 0.298
Sam Zell is a Douche 0.246 0.315 0.407 5.63 8.74 4.08 1.36 0.333
Halfprice Henchmen 0.286 0.355 0.482 8.10 7.56 4.05 2.43 0.357









League Average 0.266 0.345 0.455 4.04 8.00 3.26 1.01 0.276

Killbots gets off to a typical blistering start with the offense, followed by the solid performances of the Confused Cricket Club and the Bumpin' Utleys, and then heralding the gradual descent into the frigid icy depths of mediocrity, with BattlestarGrantica bearing the banner of FAIL. Hey, at least that isolated patience is pretty awesome!

There are some sparkly ERAs produced by ol' Momma-J, and the Duck Islanders, and the hapless Battlestar, so go ahead and pat yourselves on the back for that, but then be sure to check out the gem of the week: COLIN'S AWESOME 8.10 ERA! If you look up "epic" in the official Northwest Drunken Fan League dictionary, there is a picture of, um, the Henchmen's ERA. (Did I mention it is a magic calculating dictionary?)

Good job guys.