Week 2: April 12-18

Guys, check out this screengrab for Yahoo's long-awaited iPhone fantasy baseball app:

WORTH THE WAIT!!! That is a lot of passed-ball strike threes! Also, I love "1.24" innings pitched. So crazy yet so specific! This is a good lesson for us all: If you are going to make shit up, do it to at least two decimal places. At least the Win column looks about right. THE MARINERS ARE GOING TO WIN TWO WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR.

This sort of reminds me of the box cover of the cribbage board my parents have. There are two kids having a fucking BLAST playing cribbage (which is suspicious in itself). In the picture, one player has two pegs fairly close together as might be found in legitimate gameplay, but the other player has three pegs evenly distributed throughout the board. This made me think that my dad was holding back on me as far as the rules went, since I always had to play with two measly pegs. It wasn't until MUCH later (I believed that there was some magical rule that would earn me an extra peg WAY longer than I probably should have) that I finally understood that this particular box cover was not put together by cribbage geniuses, but by some disinterested photographer. "Put those tiny sticks in the board with the holes. HURRY! Bobby ate one of the tiny sticks? Fine. Bobby plays with two sticks. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! I am late for an appointment to take pictures of shoes".

I guess I just think it's awesome that someone was putting together the promotional material for a stat-obsessive application and didn't bother to spend the five minutes figuring out what a normal baseball line would be. That's how busy those guys at Yahoo are!

AAAANYWAAAAY, last week:

Team	BA	OBP	SLG	ERA	K/9	W/9	HR/9	BIPA
Ballard Killbots	0.195	0.285	0.337	4.91	8.12	5.48	1.13	0.324
BattlestarGrantica	0.232	0.346	0.465	7.00	9.00	3.75	0.75	0.333
Bumpin' Utleys	0.276	0.358	0.431	3.15	6.98	2.93	0.23	0.299
ConfusedCricketClub	0.240	0.324	0.325	4.83	6.00	2.83	1.17	0.272
Halfprice Henchmen	0.300	0.369	0.490	3.97	5.80	2.75	1.07	0.284
Hammarby	0.253	0.318	0.424	2.96	7.08	2.14	0.33	0.267
Honkbal Staars	0.219	0.302	0.426	2.91	7.62	4.43	0.83	0.231
Ichi-Chone FLeelix	0.277	0.333	0.406	2.96	7.58	2.77	0.74	0.234
Mike Sweeny Fan Club	0.251	0.340	0.474	4.68	5.58	4.14	1.26	0.242
Most Valuable Mauers	0.257	0.354	0.466	2.41	7.46	3.95	0.66	0.252
Return of the ATPL	0.285	0.346	0.487	2.95	7.71	3.63	0.91	0.303
Sam Zell is a Douche	0.305	0.347	0.525	3.35	10.67	2.30	0.63	0.310
SLUT Dodgers	0.218	0.313	0.322	3.32	8.93	5.19	0.83	0.256
WalnutCreekWolfpack	0.333	0.422	0.549	3.80	6.40	3.40	1.00	0.237
WestSideConnectGang	0.288	0.373	0.486	3.63	9.52	2.60	1.21	0.273
League Average	0.263	0.343	0.441	3.82	7.67	3.52	0.88	0.277

Yikes, Killbots. Yikes, SLUT (Dodgers). WCW--save some for the rest of us! Pitching kind of sucked this week. Sam Zell had some pretty awesome components. Ham/Arbys, Staaaaaaars, and fLeEl1x were solid. Battlestar took this battle to the upper stratus and DOMINATED. Killbots are too busy throwing tiny balls at dudes to aim them. HURRY! They might get away!

Season:

Team	BA	OBP	SLG	ERA	K/9	W/9	HR/9	BIPA
Sam Zell is a Douche	0.289	0.366	0.505	3.86	9.55	3.28	1.25	0.261
WalnutCreekWolfpack	0.288	0.369	0.475	3.06	7.95	2.68	0.96	0.238
Hammarby	0.271	0.328	0.429	3.12	6.98	2.57	0.73	0.271
Most Valuable Mauers	0.256	0.346	0.454	2.97	6.53	3.66	0.59	0.279
SLUT Dodgers	0.266	0.364	0.440	3.48	8.17	4.68	0.87	0.261
WestSideConnectGang	0.274	0.351	0.436	4.32	8.22	4.07	1.33	0.266
ConfusedCricketClub	0.227	0.307	0.358	3.46	6.91	2.71	0.84	0.271
Halfprice Henchmen	0.289	0.354	0.442	3.23	6.03	2.71	0.70	0.257
Return of the ATPL	0.297	0.367	0.559	3.09	7.27	3.75	0.77	0.298
Mike Sweeny Fan Club	0.268	0.340	0.492	4.14	6.41	3.83	0.93	0.249
Honkbal Staars	0.243	0.299	0.389	4.20	8.08	4.12	1.21	0.262
Ichi-Chone FLeelix	0.262	0.329	0.399	4.36	7.05	3.80	0.84	0.297
Bumpin' Utleys	0.281	0.354	0.444	3.26	6.93	2.65	0.51	0.281
BattlestarGrantica	0.229	0.371	0.420	5.68	8.37	2.99	1.59	0.302
Ballard Killbots	0.247	0.348	0.434	4.40	8.81	5.56	1.04	0.311
League Average	0.266	0.346	0.446	3.79	7.55	3.52	0.95	0.274

Good work, gang!